Convicted

 

Recently, I listened to a podcast I absolutely love called The Lord of Spirits through Ancient Faith Radio. The hosts are two Eastern Orthodox Christian priests who speak about the Eastern approach to interpreting the Old Testament, intertestimental literature, and early Christianity. One of the priests, Dr. Stephen De Young, is absolutely profound and illuminating. At the end of an episode called Leviathan, Father Stephen said the following: 

      "We have the power through the gospel to change the fundamental reality of our society and our culture.... [It] starts with us converting ourselves. It starts with us discovering true Christianity again and being transformed. Not using Christianity in our own lives to shore up and defend the things we already believe, or want to be true, or the way of life that we want to live. But instead being transformed by it. 

     If you've become a Christian or you've joined the Orthodox Church and become an Orthodox Christian and it hasn't changed how you eat, how you dress, how you act in your family, how you do your job at work, how you apportion your time, how you look at and treat and handle your finances; if any of those things are untouched you have not converted to Christianity. You've started to... but you haven't finished."

The last line was completely devastating to me. If my life hasn't changed in relation to my faith, then I have only started in my faith journey. I know that I eat terribly at times, I can see my treatment of family and friends, I know when I cut corners at work, I see how much of my time is self-centered, and I can be spendy. In short, if I were to look at a linear timeline of my 25 year walk with Christ, and if that time line were measured in feet spanning one foot per year, spiritually I'd bet that I am still only a few inches forward from the starting line. And, I am sure that I have taken the proverbial two steps forward and one step back many, many times.

Socrates once stated that an unexamined life is not worth living. It is so easy to accommodate the things we decry that once it happens, we are caught off guard when we realize how far we've slipped or become undisciplined. A continual re-evaluation is necessary to move ahead. Biblically, a life of continual repentance, a renewing of the mind, or dying to oneself daily mirrors Socrates assertion. If I am to grow in faith, become more like Christ, and to allow the Spirit to infill me, I need to come to grips with my own hypocrisy. 

The above is one of the reasons I have recently left Facebook. I was mirroring the argumentative arrogance of modern meme culture, which is self-absorbed. Even when my arguments were rooted in truth and morality, my presentation was anything but humble. My departure was both from the toxicity of circular debates, but also the aggrandizing platform that allowed me to become an internet troll and use my posts as bully-pulpits. I had to leave for repentance. 

Additionally, I look at the Christians in my life. There are many who are my spiritual betters, but then I see the trends of modern Christianity, especially in the West, and my heart breaks because it is structured to cater to a self focused faith. This sounds severe, but I would speculate that the vast majority of Christians are still but only inches into their walk with Christ, though by the standards of contemporary faith, the claim is for many feet. Is our present Christianity too shallow? Are we being deceived by a comfortable faith? 

Lord save us, because we really have no clue what we're doing.