Ritualized Trauma

 

Have you ever met anyone who gets really bummed out on certain severe anniversaries? Maybe it's even on holidays where something traumatic had occurred, forever shaping how this person translates the holiday. I remember in the movie Gremlins, Phoebe Cates character -- Kate -- retold how Christmas was ruined for her based on a traumatic moment when she was nine:

The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn’t home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. And that’s when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

For some people, the days, or weeks, or even months of trauma resurface every year, and it sets the mood for the season. On the surface, it seems like simple correlation. An example might be someone losing their wedding ring -- a powerful symbol of fidelity -- on July 8th of 1994, so every July 8th then becomes a mood-setting reminder of the loss. The ring wasn't lost on the current July 8th, so those who haven't the memorial might try to minimize the effects as being in the past and therefore inconsequential to the present. "Get over it already!" 

Is this accurate?

Each year, when Jews celebrate the Passover Seder, a child has the responsibility of asking a question in prelude to the observance, "Why is this night different from all other nights?" Though the Passover celebrates an ancient event, the celebration is a present entry into the event. We might use the word "represent" as in the holiday represents the ancient Passover. But, have you thought about the word deeply? Re (again) + Present (now)... Represent does not necessarily mean a facsimile or a reminder, but a making something past present again. It is a spiritual wormhole that transverses time and space to unify our past with our present. Rituals, like the Passover Seder or for Christians, the Eucharist (communion) and baptism, weren't seen by the ancients as merely remembering the past, but as really participating in it spiritually. Memorials are materialistic. In ritual, the spiritual is made reality between two times and locations. 

I propose that the darkness that looms for annual observances of tragedy and trauma are actually rituals. Maybe the ritual is not physically enacted, but instead is replayed in one's mind. The replay occurs on or about the same time each year. Ritual connects us with our past in more than figurative ways. This is why I think churches should be liturgical. It isn't about just going through the motions, but about re-presenting then into now in wholeness and reality.

For the trauma victim, sadly, the tragedy is re-presented without closure. Why does the event of pain linger? Because in ritual, it becomes reality again. What is needed is closure to usurp the power of the event -- to replace the tragedy with victory. Slavery was trauma for the Jews in Egypt. The Passover of the Spirit of Death brought victory into the frame. Jesus' death and ours is tragedy, but resurrection provides closure, conclusion, and hope. I don't know what or how, but for those who memorialize trauma in ritual each year, the day, or week, or month cannot be avoided, but a new ritual element can be brought in to squelch the power of pain -- the power of demons. The trauma isn't a shadow of the past, but a re-presentation of painful reality. This means it isn't in the past and if it isn't in the past, then it can be conquered in the now. YES! IT CAN BE CONQUERED IN THE NOW! Thankfully, I believe in God and I trust his power within his people, so I see a great support network to help re-ritualize trauma into victory.  

Again, I don't know how (we each have our crosses to carry), but I believe pain and trauma can be overcome and overcome by new ritual. So, if this is you... Find your ritual. God bless.